Mythbusters! Stress is bad for IVF

The outcome of a large scale British study has just been released which found that ...women trying to get pregnant via IVF or other assisted reproduction techniques do not reduce their chances of success if they are emotionally distressed...

Study leader, Jacky Boivin of Cardiff University's school of psychology, said that ...these findings should reassure women that emotional distress caused by fertility problems or other life events co-occurring with treatment will not compromise their chance of becoming pregnant. 

Phew - one less thing to be stressed about!  

How many times do you get told while trying to make a baby (regardless of the method) that if you just relax it will happen.  I don't know about you, but it makes me soooo cranky to hear that and then you just feel stressed about feeling stressed!

So stop feeling guilty about it! The proof is in the pudding...or the British Medical Journal in this case (although I'm not really sure why the pudding has proof anyway?). 

Be kind to yourself and know that it's proven to be ok to feel all of the emotions that are part of this wild carousel ride we are on.  Scream, yell, cry, laugh, hope, dream and stress if you need to. We're only human after all.

Image source: elgarboart on Etsy. Love the vintageness of this photo.

IVF is like crack

I'm starting the get the shakes and I think it's because I'm off the assisted fertility bandwagon for the first time in a long time.

It seems a little crazy to be biting my nails over taking a break, but the reality is it feels like I now have even less influence over a very out of my control situation.

At least when I was on the drugs, getting scanned and analysed to the 'enth' degree I felt like I was taking positive steps to making a very wanted baby. Now irrationally I feel like I'm standing by watching opportunity slide by every month.

Whereas in reality, standing on the sideline is probably the very best thing I can do for my triple bottom line (mind, body & wallet!) at the moment.

So I'll continue pursuing other interests and maybe in time I'll stop moving forward looking over my shoulder at what I'm used to doing. Good things are ahead!

Image source: Design Divas Gallery on Etsy. Love this vinyl wall print - I could so do with it on my wall!

Tick tock it's zen o'clock

It's a funny thing, when you go off fertility treatment to have a break and retrieve some sense of life outside of IVF, there are those who think that you are immediately more relaxed about it all and in a state of zen.

Here's the revelation - It doesn't work that way!  I'm still finding myself counting the calender days, checking the state of the mucus (eeuuwww for those who don't understand that it's all about the mucus!) and cheering if it seems as if I've ovulated.  AND of course roping the 'usually quite willing man unless he's really tired' into shagging when I think that it's the 'right time of the month'.

Granted, it's nice not shooting up with a cocktail of hormones and being scanned for popping ovaries. Or being deposed of a good amount of blood every couple of days which is then used to provide a report card on my poor hard working body. But still - baby making is on my mind!

*sigh*

However - I've given myself a 'get out of jail free card' and I'm allowing this state of affairs to continue. After all, I'm at that biologically clock ticking time of life where baby making is on MANY women's mind and just because we are going cold turkey on IVF doesn't mean I can't think about it...does it?

Image source: stasiab on Etsy. This is so perfect for what I was trying to say!

Love this story

Nothing to do with making babies, but this story is about a fabulous Parisian hairdresser to the stars, Lucia Iraci, who once a month offers a bit of glamour and pampering to women from poor districts who are often long-term unemployed or victims of abuse and even slavery. 

Just lovely to read. If I am ever lucky enough to visit Paris again, I would love to get my hair done by Lucia - whether I needed a hair cut or not!
 

Lucia Iraci outside her Paris salon.

Image source: Mindfood

All you need is a good dollop of honey

First period completed post IVF and it was a wild hormone ride!  After being pumped full of progesterone and pregnancy hormones the last three months of 2010, I think my poor reproductive system went into withdrawal - sitting in the corner sucking its thumb while rocking and singing to itself.

So I figured the poor old (no not old - quite young!) thing needed a little bit of a helping hand settling back into a normal routine.

Wanting to stay off drugs (do you blame me?) and after speaking to the famed guru - Swami 'Google' - I came up with a few things I'm starting to do to help my poor harassed hormones settle down.

• Drink red raspberry leaf tea and women's balance tea - red raspberry leaf is supposed to be really good for the uterine lining and balancing hormones.
• Take evening primrose oil (first half of cycle) - helps with the quality of the fertile mucus - and the essential fatty acids are of course good for the brain!
• Eat licorice - Licorice is supposed to help with balancing oestrogen.  You're probably supposed to use supplements, but I've liberally interpreted this to include the molasses sweetened licorice from my local fruit shop. Sooo good.
• Up my honey intake - Honey is of course very healthy but sadly I don't really like it. However, it has a good list of properties that help with ovary function and general reproductive health - so I'm going to LEARN to love it.

I'm hoping that all this, plus a healthy lifestyle and a good dose of time will help get me back on track.

It's alright little hormones...you can stop buzzing around like crazy now...I have some honey for you!

Image source: Hushmouse on Etsy

AND here are some links to the type of info I've been finding. 

http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/herbs.html

http://www.nutritional-supplements-health-guide.com/benefits-of-licorice.html

http://www.babyworld.co.uk/information/trying/getting_body_ready/honey_helps_conception.asp

http://www.gynob.com/fertility-foods.html

One of THOSE stories

A friend recently said to me that I would be one of THOSE stories when I said I was having a break from IVF for a while.

You know the ones where you hear that people have been on fertility treatments for years and then they have a break and BAM! they get pregnant. 

And the confession is I would LOVE to be one of THOSE stories.

I think mine should have a bit of a chick lit flavour to it (happy ever after ending including lots of babies with the man I love), a smattering of fantasy (good vs evil with good winning of course), a dollop of family drama (a la Jodi Picoult) and a good bit of travel adventure (Eat, Pray, Love style - without the love angst and finding a new husband side of things - just the travel).

Who knows...stranger things have happened...

 Image source: thelittlefox on Etsy. Am LOVING her art so much.

Clowning around

I've just read an article headlining - Humour clowns linked to IVF success.  Apparently in a study done by a team of Israeli doctors it was found that the odds of success were greater among women who were entertained by a professional "medical clown" just after the embryos were transferred to their wombs. 

This is hilarious! I'm sitting here imagining Bobo in all his clowning, red nosed, big footed glory jumping around the clinic room popping out a joke or two while I'm sitting there with my legs in the air. (Too bad if you're one of those people who have a phobia of clowns...that would send stress levels sky high!)

However, I'm not that surprised to hear that a bit of a comedy routine could be beneficial in terms of lowering stress levels. And I fully believe that low stress levels could have an impact on success. That being said I swear I was super cool the last three rounds...maybe I need to watch more comedy?

So if we ever end up doing IVF again, I'm definitely going to put in a special request for clowns. Or at the very least, spend the afternoon watching reruns of Friends...

 

Image source: lulisplanet on Etsy When I was looking for clown artwork, I came across so many scary clowns it was a little freaky!  Why can't people draw innocent happy clowns?? I liked this picture because of the sparkly balloons and the clown looked so happy :)

No predictions for 2011

Yesterday, while sipping a glass of cleanskin chardonnay (not a bad drop actually), I cleaned up the Christmas tree packing all the decorations away in their special box. And all the while I was thinking that I'd just put everything up.  Where did December disappear to?  No wait...where did the whole of 2010 go?

It's funny how the start of a new year feels so full of possibility and promise. What is it about the month of January that makes it so different from December? Is it holidays? Is it trying to reverse the effects of the Christmas/new year food binge? (Raise your hand if you fit into this boat *hand raised*)

I'm wondering what 2011 holds for us? The last couple of years I've tried to make predictions about what the year will hold (particularly in relation to the baby side of things...) but this year I have no idea and I'm certainly not making any type of predictions (as I've been so wrong in the  past)!!

I think for me, this year is about making the most of every opportunity and looking for open windows where doors have seemingly closed.  Come on 2011 - let's see what you've got!

Image source: thedreamygiraffe on Etsy

A weary yet faithful heart

Well our little snow people melted away over Christmas and my heart has become a little wearier. 

It's been a big year with a lot of effort and we are quite exhausted from it all so I think we've well earned a break (as has our bank account!).  Time to just be us for a while, not 'us doing IVF'.

Maybe the Christmas miracle is that I had a lovely day with family, ate huge amounts of food (i.e.chocolate) and drank expensive french champagne (I highly recommend the real stuff - it's amazing).

Maybe the Christmas miracle is that we are both healthy and well and best of friends.

Maybe the Christmas miracle is that we still have faith that we will get there in the end...

Image source: JCSpock on Etsy

Gingerbread people!

I just have to show you the gingerbread people I made today (I made other shapes too like hearts, a donut and a guitar for my brother).

I can't say I was the neatest artist ever with the icing and some of them have quite scary expressions...but I had a lot of fun.  The recipe I used was from taste.com.au

The self gee up that worked

I was in danger of falling into a 'blue funk' earlier this week (which is ok to do every now and then by the way regardless of your reasons!) and giving everything up before we even knew the outcome of round 5.

And then I was reminded that love never gives up and always hopes and if we are truly doing this whole IVF process out of love I shouldn't stop hoping or give up on these little snow people too early. In fact we shouldn't give up on any future kids...regardless of what happens in the immediate future.

Surprisingly, this little self gee up worked and rather than being a nervous wreck, prostrated on the couch, unable to do little else but eat copious quantities of chocolate and watch dodgy Christmas movies and Glee reruns, I've been getting into the pre-Christmas spirit quite nicely.

I've wrapped presents, made chocolate balls, apricot balls and gingerbread men are even on the cards (I'm so proud of my baking alter ego right now - although where's a Kitchenaid standing mixer when I need one!).

This is not to say that I won't be quietly heartbroken if this round doesn't work, but I guess I'm beginning to hold tighter to the fact that love will always come through one way or the other. 

Image source: Shirae Etsy shop

I really want one of these...

At the risk of sounding all domestic like, I really want a Kitchenaid standing mixer.

And I love this pink one!

I'm feeling curiously relaxed three days post transfer which is why I'm probably looking at kitchen devices with such excitement.

Or am I looking to bury any week before you know jitters in a mountain of baking (although I do have Christmas goodies to get stuck into making)?

Or is it just because this is my third transfer in a row and after two failed rounds my expectations are much lower (although my hope is as high as ever)?

Or is it that my acupuncture this round has made me super relaxed and zen?

Or do I just really really want this super cool piece of kitchen gadgetry regardless of where I'm at in life!?

Welcome to another round of mental badminton!

Image source: www.kitchenaid.com

A message to our two little 'snow people' who joined us today

You are loved.

Image source: Dudadaze on Etsy  Have I mentioned how much I love Dudadaze's prints?  They are so lovely and so perfect!

Down the rabbit hole

This morning I met a gorgeous bunch of women for high tea at Flaxton Tea Gardens, and in between sipping earl grey, munching on little itty bitty delights of goodness, and drowning in our own sweat (I mean seriously I was fantasizing about fans, air conditioners or even just bowls of ice to pour over my head) we talked about all the things that just have to be talked about when you're with people who understand.

And I was reminded by one of these ladies that everyone needs a soft place to land when the going gets tough.

The whole IVF journey is really like a trip down the 'Alice in Wonderland' rabbit hole and life can sometimes get a little warped down here.  Particularly when often you're on as many drugs as that caterpillar with the hookah pipe and feel like you've eaten half the mushroom - the wrong half!

It's so important to have people who you can just 'be' with and who are happy to sit with you at your 'mad' tea party. I really appreciate those who have joined in with me at times...sugar anyone?

Image source: Etsy shop thelittlefox

The standby bottle of wine

So all is on track for Round 5 and the stars are aligning.  I'm looking down the barrel of a 29 day cycle (unheard of!), my uturine lining is looking great, I'm not using Clexane, there is a nice big fat egg not too far off dropping and here's the kicker - we find out if it's all worked on Christmas Day.

So, my thoughts are that Christmas is going to be either the most festive day of 2010 with the best present ever, or I am going to be enjoying a number of large glasses of wine.

Hmmm...is it too pessimistic of me to have an expensive bottle of Riesling or bubbly (my two favourite drops) on standby?

Image source: artsyville on Etsy. This print is just too perfect for some days.

An observation about wandering elephants

There is an elephant in the room.  No one announces that he's arrived, he just tiptoes in and hides behind the couch, snuggles up on the bed or sometimes sits at the table with a cup of tea. He doesn't say anything, just takes up space, and everyone has to tiptoe around him.

No one wants to talk about the very odd fact that there is in fact an elephant curled on the bedspread, putting his feet up on the couch or rummaging through the fridge for milk.

So next time I'm in a room and see a wandering elephant, I'm going to say hello, ask him how he takes his tea and whether he would like to take an afternoon nap.

I think it's time to stop tiptoeing around and shrink these errant elephants down to a manageable size.  Probably down to about the size of a cat...what do you think?

Image source: ybryksenkova on Etsy. I would LOVE to curl up with a little elephant.  How cute would that be?  What a great print.

The definition of insanity

One of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

And so yesterday, Round 5 took me to visit an acupuncturist (specialising in fertility and pregnancy support) in my mission to be doing something different and doing my best to escape insanity.

I've tried acupuncture before, but not as a complementary treatment to an IVF cycle. There have been a number of studies that have shown that it is beneficial to the fertility process (just google it and you'll find a stack of information) and at this stage of the game, bring it on. 

Even if - as sceptics would suggest - its main benefit is that those undergoing acupuncture experience a 'placebo' effect of feeling more relaxed and less stressed through the whole crazy process - count me in! I'm up for some of that 'placebo'. Anything that promotes a better experience can only be positive - for me AND for the two little 'snow people' I'll be playing host to sometime in the next couple of weeks.

So how did it go? I really enjoyed the experience, my acupuncturist was lovely, the room was light and bright, the music was restful and I felt remarkably relaxed and de-stressed afterwards.  Like I'd just been floating around a swimming pool on a sunny summer's afternoon.

Excellent - insanity averted! Now I'd love to prove those sceptics wrong and have this round be our Great Success Story...

Image source: Dudaze on Etsy. This is how relaxed I felt after my acupuncture!

A bucketful of hope

It took a couple of glasses of the good stuff, a long coversation, and a day at the cricket, but we've decided to fill up our bucket of hope again and give Round 5 a go.

These are our last two little 'people on ice', so we shall see what we shall see. It would be so lovely if they were hanging out in the chilly wilds of the clinic's freezer just to be with us.

And then when transferred they find it so nice and warm on the inside that they think it's just too toasty to leave...kind of like when you hop in front of a roaring fire after a freezing day outside. Not that we have too many of those sorts of days in Queensland!

So we won't speak of what will happen next until we know.  And in the meantime, even though it's nice and warm outside, and I can hear the cicadas singing like mad,  I'll just sit here and imagine crackling fires, mulled wine and presents...oh hang on...that's Christmas I'm thinking of!

Image source: This Christmas Tree collage from ekm79 on Etsy is so beautiful, warm and cosy looking it makes we want to jump straight in the picture!

Tears for the peas

I cried some tears for the little peas this afternoon, because they didn't make it.

Now I'm feeling a little (maybe a lot) deflated after round 4 and wondering should we continue on to Round 5 and use up our last two little snowpeople before the end of the year? Or do we shut up shop for a while and party over Christmas?

This definitely calls for a good long chat with the 'other person that matters most' over a glass of wine and piece of soft cheese tonight. You see it's not just about me, it's about him too...oh and our bank balance!

 Image source: Loxlyhollow Etsy shop

Antsing around

I feel like I've got ants in my pants this afternoon!  I know that I'm going to find out tomorrow whether Round 4 has worked or not and it's making me very jumpy. Have decided to wait for the bloodtest results.  No home test for me...makes sleep too stressfull!

Speaking of ants, I've figured out that those those Clexane injections feel like green ant bites. It's not the initial injection, but the sting afterwards that's the killer. *Ouch*

HOPEFULLY all this antsing around has been worth it!

Image source: Carlasonheim Etsy shop So appropriate!