A weary yet faithful heart

Well our little snow people melted away over Christmas and my heart has become a little wearier. 

It's been a big year with a lot of effort and we are quite exhausted from it all so I think we've well earned a break (as has our bank account!).  Time to just be us for a while, not 'us doing IVF'.

Maybe the Christmas miracle is that I had a lovely day with family, ate huge amounts of food (i.e.chocolate) and drank expensive french champagne (I highly recommend the real stuff - it's amazing).

Maybe the Christmas miracle is that we are both healthy and well and best of friends.

Maybe the Christmas miracle is that we still have faith that we will get there in the end...

Image source: JCSpock on Etsy

Gingerbread people!

I just have to show you the gingerbread people I made today (I made other shapes too like hearts, a donut and a guitar for my brother).

I can't say I was the neatest artist ever with the icing and some of them have quite scary expressions...but I had a lot of fun.  The recipe I used was from taste.com.au

The self gee up that worked

I was in danger of falling into a 'blue funk' earlier this week (which is ok to do every now and then by the way regardless of your reasons!) and giving everything up before we even knew the outcome of round 5.

And then I was reminded that love never gives up and always hopes and if we are truly doing this whole IVF process out of love I shouldn't stop hoping or give up on these little snow people too early. In fact we shouldn't give up on any future kids...regardless of what happens in the immediate future.

Surprisingly, this little self gee up worked and rather than being a nervous wreck, prostrated on the couch, unable to do little else but eat copious quantities of chocolate and watch dodgy Christmas movies and Glee reruns, I've been getting into the pre-Christmas spirit quite nicely.

I've wrapped presents, made chocolate balls, apricot balls and gingerbread men are even on the cards (I'm so proud of my baking alter ego right now - although where's a Kitchenaid standing mixer when I need one!).

This is not to say that I won't be quietly heartbroken if this round doesn't work, but I guess I'm beginning to hold tighter to the fact that love will always come through one way or the other. 

Image source: Shirae Etsy shop

I really want one of these...

At the risk of sounding all domestic like, I really want a Kitchenaid standing mixer.

And I love this pink one!

I'm feeling curiously relaxed three days post transfer which is why I'm probably looking at kitchen devices with such excitement.

Or am I looking to bury any week before you know jitters in a mountain of baking (although I do have Christmas goodies to get stuck into making)?

Or is it just because this is my third transfer in a row and after two failed rounds my expectations are much lower (although my hope is as high as ever)?

Or is it that my acupuncture this round has made me super relaxed and zen?

Or do I just really really want this super cool piece of kitchen gadgetry regardless of where I'm at in life!?

Welcome to another round of mental badminton!

Image source: www.kitchenaid.com

A message to our two little 'snow people' who joined us today

You are loved.

Image source: Dudadaze on Etsy  Have I mentioned how much I love Dudadaze's prints?  They are so lovely and so perfect!

Down the rabbit hole

This morning I met a gorgeous bunch of women for high tea at Flaxton Tea Gardens, and in between sipping earl grey, munching on little itty bitty delights of goodness, and drowning in our own sweat (I mean seriously I was fantasizing about fans, air conditioners or even just bowls of ice to pour over my head) we talked about all the things that just have to be talked about when you're with people who understand.

And I was reminded by one of these ladies that everyone needs a soft place to land when the going gets tough.

The whole IVF journey is really like a trip down the 'Alice in Wonderland' rabbit hole and life can sometimes get a little warped down here.  Particularly when often you're on as many drugs as that caterpillar with the hookah pipe and feel like you've eaten half the mushroom - the wrong half!

It's so important to have people who you can just 'be' with and who are happy to sit with you at your 'mad' tea party. I really appreciate those who have joined in with me at times...sugar anyone?

Image source: Etsy shop thelittlefox

The standby bottle of wine

So all is on track for Round 5 and the stars are aligning.  I'm looking down the barrel of a 29 day cycle (unheard of!), my uturine lining is looking great, I'm not using Clexane, there is a nice big fat egg not too far off dropping and here's the kicker - we find out if it's all worked on Christmas Day.

So, my thoughts are that Christmas is going to be either the most festive day of 2010 with the best present ever, or I am going to be enjoying a number of large glasses of wine.

Hmmm...is it too pessimistic of me to have an expensive bottle of Riesling or bubbly (my two favourite drops) on standby?

Image source: artsyville on Etsy. This print is just too perfect for some days.

An observation about wandering elephants

There is an elephant in the room.  No one announces that he's arrived, he just tiptoes in and hides behind the couch, snuggles up on the bed or sometimes sits at the table with a cup of tea. He doesn't say anything, just takes up space, and everyone has to tiptoe around him.

No one wants to talk about the very odd fact that there is in fact an elephant curled on the bedspread, putting his feet up on the couch or rummaging through the fridge for milk.

So next time I'm in a room and see a wandering elephant, I'm going to say hello, ask him how he takes his tea and whether he would like to take an afternoon nap.

I think it's time to stop tiptoeing around and shrink these errant elephants down to a manageable size.  Probably down to about the size of a cat...what do you think?

Image source: ybryksenkova on Etsy. I would LOVE to curl up with a little elephant.  How cute would that be?  What a great print.

The definition of insanity

One of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

And so yesterday, Round 5 took me to visit an acupuncturist (specialising in fertility and pregnancy support) in my mission to be doing something different and doing my best to escape insanity.

I've tried acupuncture before, but not as a complementary treatment to an IVF cycle. There have been a number of studies that have shown that it is beneficial to the fertility process (just google it and you'll find a stack of information) and at this stage of the game, bring it on. 

Even if - as sceptics would suggest - its main benefit is that those undergoing acupuncture experience a 'placebo' effect of feeling more relaxed and less stressed through the whole crazy process - count me in! I'm up for some of that 'placebo'. Anything that promotes a better experience can only be positive - for me AND for the two little 'snow people' I'll be playing host to sometime in the next couple of weeks.

So how did it go? I really enjoyed the experience, my acupuncturist was lovely, the room was light and bright, the music was restful and I felt remarkably relaxed and de-stressed afterwards.  Like I'd just been floating around a swimming pool on a sunny summer's afternoon.

Excellent - insanity averted! Now I'd love to prove those sceptics wrong and have this round be our Great Success Story...

Image source: Dudaze on Etsy. This is how relaxed I felt after my acupuncture!

A bucketful of hope

It took a couple of glasses of the good stuff, a long coversation, and a day at the cricket, but we've decided to fill up our bucket of hope again and give Round 5 a go.

These are our last two little 'people on ice', so we shall see what we shall see. It would be so lovely if they were hanging out in the chilly wilds of the clinic's freezer just to be with us.

And then when transferred they find it so nice and warm on the inside that they think it's just too toasty to leave...kind of like when you hop in front of a roaring fire after a freezing day outside. Not that we have too many of those sorts of days in Queensland!

So we won't speak of what will happen next until we know.  And in the meantime, even though it's nice and warm outside, and I can hear the cicadas singing like mad,  I'll just sit here and imagine crackling fires, mulled wine and presents...oh hang on...that's Christmas I'm thinking of!

Image source: This Christmas Tree collage from ekm79 on Etsy is so beautiful, warm and cosy looking it makes we want to jump straight in the picture!

Tears for the peas

I cried some tears for the little peas this afternoon, because they didn't make it.

Now I'm feeling a little (maybe a lot) deflated after round 4 and wondering should we continue on to Round 5 and use up our last two little snowpeople before the end of the year? Or do we shut up shop for a while and party over Christmas?

This definitely calls for a good long chat with the 'other person that matters most' over a glass of wine and piece of soft cheese tonight. You see it's not just about me, it's about him too...oh and our bank balance!

 Image source: Loxlyhollow Etsy shop

Antsing around

I feel like I've got ants in my pants this afternoon!  I know that I'm going to find out tomorrow whether Round 4 has worked or not and it's making me very jumpy. Have decided to wait for the bloodtest results.  No home test for me...makes sleep too stressfull!

Speaking of ants, I've figured out that those those Clexane injections feel like green ant bites. It's not the initial injection, but the sting afterwards that's the killer. *Ouch*

HOPEFULLY all this antsing around has been worth it!

Image source: Carlasonheim Etsy shop So appropriate!

Red dragonflies

There were seemingly hundreds of red dragonflies hovering in the airspace of our backyard on Sunday. They were just beautiful. A photo couldn't have captured the prettiness of it all but this gorgeous watercolour print by Peggitha comes very close.

I wonder what they were up to and where they were off to in such great numbers? Whatever and wherever it was, I'm so glad they passed through my garden. It was the bright spot of my Sunday.

Image source: Peggitha Etsy shop

A declaration of war

I've declared war on 'what if' statements.  You know, the ones that torture you at 4am in the morning and keep you awake so you know the exact time that the magpies start warbling.  Or the ones that stand in the corner of your head and mock you for thinking positive thoughts.

Well enough is enough!  Life is too short and there are too many wonderful things to be excited about to let 'what ifs' be in control. The truth is that the future can change in an instant and I don't want to be too distracted to miss mine.

What was it that Winston Churchill said? We'll fight them on the beaches (fine by me, love the beach)...we'll fight them on the fields and in the streets (if this means going to parks and retail therapy, count me in!), we shall fight in the hills (Beverly Hills? Because I do have the travel bug and I'm ready to plan the next holiday), we shall never surrender!

Image source: Amazon.co.uk  Love this British motivational tin sign from WW2.

Give me an A...

Give me an M...Give me a Y...what does it spell? AMY!

I've come to the conclusion that everyone needs a cheersquad.  It doesn't matter who is in your cheersquad, what matters is that they are cheering for you!

It doesn't even have to be your close friends and family.  Sometimes telling random people that you are in the the week before you know can be quite liberating.  When I say random, I don't mean running up to people in the street, but people like the nice lady in my pilates class for example.  Just knowing she is gunning for us is a nice feeling.

By the way, those who have said they have everything crossed for us, thank you and in a nice way, I hope you get msucle cramps from crossing so hard!

My plan is to gather every piece of positivity coming our way and channel it into those two little peas in a pod.

Give me a P....Give me an E....Give me an A....what does it spell? PEA!

Image source: Dudadaze Etsy shop I used one of her prints in an earlier post . I love Dudadaze's style.

Snap frozen peas

On Sunday I had two little snap frozen peas in a pod transferred. I say snap frozen becuase my fab technician told me that these little blastocysts had been chilled using a relatively new technique (Vitrification) which meant they were frozen in 3 minutes rather than over three hours. 

A little like the way they snap freeze veges to retain their freshness I would think (or not?) So in theory, these little ones should be as fresh and as sticky as they come! I mean, if these blastocysts were a Birds Eye product, we'd be singing a little ditty by now about how fresh they are...

So here's hoping that both or at least one of these two little peas in a pod decide stay around this time.  To help them along in the decision making process, we took them out on the town yesterday and showed them a good time. 

With their potential grandparents and cousin, we went and had a mango smoothie at Poets Cafe in Montville, then we had a little nap, then we went to the beach and made sandcastles and then we had fish and chips followed by icecream!  Can you seriously imagine a better day on the Coast?

 

I couldn't dream up a more perfect illustration for this post.  Those two little peas look almost EXACTLY like my two blastocysts! Love it. 

Image source: Etsy shop gnomesweetgnome

The Giant 'Sainted' Sperm

I saw an article on smh.com.au today about 'Giant Sperm'. I love the way journo's sensationalise headlines to make us read their story. At first I was thinking oh my goodness they've injected steroids into the poor sperm and he's become so huge and potent the poor little egg doesn't stand a chance!

And then I read that it's really about the magnification levels at which they can view now view sperm at to spot the healthiest little fellas to increase fertilisation chances. The article says ...Fertility specialists at IVF Australia have developed technology which magnifies human sperm by 7300 times its normal size - about 18 times larger than they have ever been seen.

Good work guys!  May you find it that much easier to find that 'Sainted Sperm' that will do the best job.

Image source: blueberrybandit on etsy.com How hilarious is this print! It's called 'Saint Stanley the humble sperm' and  I think it would decorate the walls at my Fertility Clinic quite nicely.  Perhaps I should get them one for Christmas!

An air-ship built for two

I couldn't believe it when I saw this wooden pendant in Etsy shop La Petite Bohème - it couldn't more perfectly describe how I've been feeling the last week!

I am so ridiculously bloated I feel like a blimp - one of those big ones from the world war two movies. And I haven't even had the transfer yet, injected pregnyl or dosed myself on progesterone til it's oozing from my pores.

For this delightful state of affairs I am entirely blaming clomid (we aren't friends although I do acknowledge it has a place in the scheme of things). I'm pregnant with an egg!

Funny thing is that this pendent also reminded me of all the reasons I'm doing this...I'm working hard to create an air-ship built for two (that's me and a little scrap of life - not twins...hmmmm).

Chocolate puddles

Just a short observation.

One piece of chocolate is NEVER enough. I've tried really really hard to stick to a 'one piece of chocolate only' rule if I feel like a little hit of something. And invariably I go back for a second...third...*cough* fourth....

Any tips on how to manage this would be welcome (?)

But then again, why would I want to manage out of my life such a beautiful bit of endorphin anti-oxidant piece of goodness? I would say that without the *cough* occasional piece of chocolate, life would be just a little bit greyer...and who wants that?

These 'chocolate puddle' cookies from Everybody likes sandwiches look absolutely divine. Get ready endorphins, a rush is coming your way!

Image source: Everybody likes sandwiches

A short letter to my right ovary

Dear right ovary

Please stop having a competition with the uterine lining. You are meant to be working in tandem, not in competition.

As much as I love you both, it would make my life a whole lot easier if you two worked in sync.  Because you're racing ahead, leaving the lining a little on the thin side, it just means more blood tests for me over the weekend rather than a nice relaxed and timed ovidrel shot. And I'm sure we would all be happier if we didn't have to wildly guess when you are about to pop your load.

I could have had the transfer date for next week all sorted by today, dear right ovary, but for your contrariness. Regardless, I am pleased that you are doing your job, but if you could please work a little closer with the uterus in future, that would be great.

Much love
Amy

PS The left ovary is exempt from this letter because it is on holidays this month.
PPS Here's a cute little egg cosy you can make to keep those eggs warm and toasty for me in the future.

Image source: homelife.com.au

...Because you're beautiful

One of the things I really want to learn at some stage is letterpress printing and I'm big fan of these guys at Bespoke Press.  They are so creative.

One of their latest prints caught my eye. It says Loving you is easy because you're beautiful.  And I thought what a great statement. We love the people we love because we see something beautiful in them.

So next time I'm feeling a little less than inspired about life,  I'll make sure I take a good look around at the people I love and remind myself of all the beauty that surrounds me.

 

Image source: Bespoke Press

Back into the swing

Am a little on the sleepy side today. Had one of those of nights where your brain just churns with thoughts (and they are crazy thoughts let me tell you) and no matter how tired you are, you just can't nod off. Although it probably didn't help that I was reading til late using my iPad in the dark. 

I've been using it to read books on and it's not too bad actually - I've been pleasantly surprised. Although reading it in the dark isn't so great....when I turned it off I was totally blind with no nightvision whatsoever.  Made for an interesting trip to the loo...

Anyway - today I am back into the swing of IVF round number four - Scan, bloodtest, scan, bloodtest, bloodtest, bloodtest, injection, bloodtest, transfer, injection, pessary, injection, pessary, injection etc etc etc

It has its own peculiar rhythm to it...just need to add some jazz percussion, a bit of sax and keyboard and we have ourselves something to click our fingers to. The smooth tones of the IVF jazz big band!

Isn't this just a great wall sculpture from frivoloustendancies on Etsy? Made me laugh so much and is so appropriate thinking of the somewhat compromised position I find myself in over the course of the month as I visit the clinic.  If I had a music room, this would be on my wall.

Image source: frivoloustendancies on Etsy

A little bit of fabulous to end the week

I found this artwork by Megan Whitmarsh on the Hither and Thither blog and I think it's way beyond fabulous. I mean this is embroidered! The patience that this would take is well beyond me - this I know.

Although I have been learning a LOT of patience in life over the last couple of years...still don't think I could do it.  LOVE love it though and would happily have this framed on my wall.   

Color Dance Bomb, 2009, 36” x 36”, embroidery thread on fabric
By Megan Whitmarsh 

How pretty is this...

It's one of those blah days, so to cheer myself up, I got myself a bunch of e-flowers. This gorgeous purply greeny viney grapey pattern was designed by Ros from Pink Blossom Tree.

Which reminds me that I am currently in that blessed (although unasked for) window of time when I am allowed to indulge in a little vino.  A think a glass is called for tonight!

A story to tell the grandchildren

I've been given the word that my next IVF round is going to include the use of Clexane... *shivers* ohhh say it again...Clexane (sorry, you have to be a Lion King fan to get that one).

Now this lovely injectable thins the blood which is supposed to help quell those natural born killer cells (have I got that right...isn't that a movie?) and decrease the chance of miscarriage.  Well I've had experience with these before, and although they are used for a good cause, and at the risk of putting people off, they hurt! I had to psych myself up every time to inject that sucker into my belly.

So in short I am not looking forward to it.  However, of course you do what you need to do.  I'd probably inject myself, doing a handstand against the wall, reciting quotes from Wayne's World if it would help!?

Now that would be a story worth telling the grandchildren!

How cute is this print by Duda Daze on Etsy? I think it's time I reverted to my pre-teen handstanding self.

Valentino, brownies and beachball tummies

Today I went to the Valentino Retrospective Exhibition at the Queensland Art Gallery and loved it! I felt like the world's greatest fashion critic as I walked from dress to dress proclaiming a) whether I would wear it or not b) whether I thought it was wonderful or not and c) what was he thinking!? 

It was like my own personal hot or not commentary...just ignoring the fact that Valentino is in fact a well known fashion genius and there is no way I could ever come up with those designs in a blue fit.

I took this photo trying to be sneaky on my iPhone (no photography allowed) so please appreciate the artistry of a quick shot in the dark!  I did get in trouble after I took this one, so that was the end of that.

A good friend of mine who is 36 weeks pregnant was my date for the show and helped me turn what could potentially have been a day wallowing in my jammies on the couch into a fabulous day out.

We had coffee and cake (well she had a juice and cake and I had coffee and a brownie...seriously the best brownie full of white chocolate bits.  I got two thirds through it and my eyes were saying yes but my stomach was saying no....so sad), a good gossip and I was reminded that successful pregnancies can and do tend to happen.  And I loved feeling little knobs of knees (maybe elbows?) through her gorgeous beach ball of a tummy.  He even kicked when I said goodbye!

So I found a bit of hope, and a lot of unexpected fun (with a very pregnant friend) on the day after a very disappointing result to our last IVF round. 

Life just goes on doesn't it. Onwards to Round 4!

Back on the bike

Well, today was the day the 'waiting to know' was over. And sadly these little scraps of life for whatever reason were unable to stay and play. A negative 'home' test this morning, ye olde periode has  kicked in with a vengeance and I'm back to square one.

I really thought that it was going to work this time....*sigh*

But you've gotta have hope and a pinch (or fistful!) of positivity I guess because otherwise there's no point to it all.  So I'll be sad and disappointed for a while, but then I'll get back on the bike and do it all over again with a smile - and maybe put some bright red flowers in my handlebar basket for the ride!

Only because I think I think it's oh so worth it. 

Image source: Jenny Downing, Flickr

Egg testing 101

Today is Friday and I'm very thankful that it's the end of the week because I'm closer to 'the day I know whether I'm making up any supposed pregnancy symptoms in my head or not'. Which will be a relief one way or the other and ensure that my mental badminton is 'game, set, and match' once and for all!

In the meantime, I'm contemplating the omlette that is sitting rather badly in my stomach. In my defence I was really hungry when I woke up, and thought that egg was definitely on the menu. Unfortunately my insides have not agreed at all and have reminded me of this poor decision all morning.

I've been quaffing peppermint tea by the 'mug-load'  to settle things down, but to no avail. And now my ever resourceful brain is wondering if the eggs were bad or......

Although, I know the eggs were fine because I did the water test.  Fun Fact: If eggs are bad, they will float when you put them in a glass of water. If they are good, they will sink.  Both my eggs sank this morning. 

Now at the risk of sounding neurotic, I ALWAYS test my eggs before cracking them open.  It's a little trick my dad taught me very early in life. And in my opinion it's entirely worth 'floating the egg' to avoid cracking open that one rotton sucker that will inevitably come along. Who seriously wants to clean up that smelly mess!?

So I might put my eggs to better use and create something a little less eggy - like these soft cakey pumpkin cookies full of yummy spices, chocolate and goodness from Poppytalk. I have no doubt that my stomach will agree with these.

Image source: Jeannette Ordas of Everybody likes Sandwiches via Poppytalk

Trying for babies is like being in real estate

Another day, another person I know gets pregnant. Why is that EVERYONE seems to be pregnant - except for me? Don't get me wrong - I'm entirely happy for anyone who is in the baby making way, and it's an amazing miracle every time it happens. I just wish it was my turn to announce it to the world.

It's a lot like buying houses really.  When we were looking to sell/buy real estate, there suddenly seemed to be so many 'for sale' signs around the place. I'd never really noticed them before.

It's the same while I've been trying to get pregnant. There are big fat wonderful bellies, babies, prams and toddlers everywhere I look these days. Go shopping or out for coffee and I'm surrounded!

Maybe it's just that my brain is so reproductively tuned that I've developed a sort of tunnel vision when I get out and about. 

Which is probably why I was so captured by this great picture I found while cruising the BrisStyle blog.  How cute is this little girl and I LOVE love LOVE the butterfly badge on her hat. If you want one you just need to go to the OZ Wildlife Studio Etsy store or visit the Mayo Festival in Brisbane this weekend (22-23 October) where they will have a stall.

Image source: Oz Wildlife Studio, Etsy

Mental badminton

I woke up this morning feeling a little on the nauseous side - and bloated. And here surfaces the unique torture of the 'week before you know' (if the IVF has worked).  Am I nauseous because I'm unwell? Or is it because those little scraps of life have decided to make a home and I'm starting to feel the effects? Or is it too early? Or am I a victim of an overactive imagination?

Let me tell you, it's a crazy week of mental badminton - back and forth over the net of a possible pregnancy!

I found this super cute print called 'Eloise and Ramona play Badminoton' on Etsy in the Flapperdoodle store and thought it was mighty appropriate for this week.

Come on stay...it'll be fun!

Another day another injection.  At least today is the last of three pregnyl's this week.  I'm pretty good at taking the tops off those glass vials now.  I had to get the man of the house to do them on our first IVF round last December...but I've graduated to little glass vial opener extraordinaire. I also think I could give nurses a run for their money with injection experience...

Also this morning, I've just ticked the next box on this latest IVF adventure, progesterone levels from the transfer day blood test are A-OK. Excellent.  This means no need to boost the progesterone pessary levels = less dollars and less mess!

Wondering how those little blastocysts are getting on in there? Am sending all sorts of positive thoughts and promises of excellent lives with minute details of all the fun things we'll do together if they decide to hang around...

For example, I will bake these delicious Donna Hay polka dot cookies!  Actually, I'm not sure I can wait that long, I might make these on the weekend...

Image source: Donna Hay Kids Magazine, Photography Wiliam Meppem

Garlands of butterflies

How gorgeous are these garlands of butterfiles? I can imagine hanging them on my wall - they'd make a beautiful feature wouldn't they? They are handmade and hand printed by an Australian designer who has an Etsy shop and a blog called 'This neck of the woods'. You should really check her out.

Little scraps of life

 
Today feels like Christmas!  Well almost - just a little more nervewracking I think. It's transfer day and with it comes all the hopes and dreams as well as the beginning of the two week wait. Augh!

All went well this morning, beautiful blastocysts were transferred to the sounds of pan flute.  Was pretty funny really, felt like I should be getting a massage rather than a transfer.  Well that's on the agenda tomorrow...

Now I'm having a 'Queen Muck' afternoon where I'm lying on the couch, surfing the internet, watching Mad Men, chocolates are within reach and there's a new book I'm about to get into. Oh and I also took the day of work...perfect!  Plan is to have tea cooked for me by the man of the house too. What a day!

I think it's important to celebrate this stage, because regardless of the outcome, there are still little scraps of life in me right now, and that's wonderful.

Image source: homelife.com.au

Lucky girl

I've bought a new body wash that smells like coconut and reminds me of summer and I love it!  Everytime I use it I feel happy and remember shimmery golden afternoons and cold drinks.  Which is (quite obviously) how I came up with the name of this blog.

I've been on a bit of a 'baby making' journey the last couple of years which has of course had it's ups and downs, but there is one lesson that I've learned that I think is really important.

Through it all, regardless of the rough times (e.g.miscarriages, ovaries feeling like they are about to burst!, many many many needle jabs) I'm still me, and I'm more than just someone trying to have a baby.

It's very easy to get lost in the whole process and obsess about every little detail (believe me I know), but when it comes down to it, I am still me.  I still have other interests, love other things and get a lot of pleasure out of life.

I can't wait to have kids, and I certainly wouldn't be going to the effort that I am if I didn't, but at the same time, I don't want to be solely defined as the 'poor' girl who has 'fertility issues'.  I'm also the 'lucky' girl who loves cooking, crafty and pretty things, coffee with friends, playing sport, pilates, walks on the beach at sunset followed by fish and chips, travel etc etc etc...

So I'll be blogging about all sorts of things, from baby making to coconut body washes to cooking to traveling! I'd love you to join me.

Amy x